Family

Sharing is more than giving up something

By Roger Farr, 26 Mar 2012

Sharing is a concept most of us learn either in or before primary school. Usually, we learn it in the negative form when sharing means having to give up something.

Sharing is more than giving up something

Helpful tips for the abused spouse

By Mike Constantine, 21 Mar 2012

Imagine that Sam’s wife Joan invites her old schoolmate, Amy, to visit. Joan and Amy attended Methodist Girl’s School in Penang but have lived in separate parts of Malaysia for many years. Since Amy was in town for a...

Principles to help you select your team

By Roger Farr, 19 Mar 2012

I do a lot of reading, because I am a lifelong learner. I want to improve as a father, husband and leader. My goal is to improve in all of these three areas. They overlap in their impact, so...

Train your child to behave responsibly

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 14 Mar 2012

Some parents rush into a home and remove everything breakable within reach, when their young children enter someone else’s home. Should this be the way? Children can learn, early in life, the concept of rewards and punishment as well as...

Help your child learn from his experience

By Roger Farr, 12 Mar 2012

I have always been a reflective thinker. By this I mean that after I complete an experience or activity, I consciously go back and ask myself questions about the experience. In this way, I am able to take with...

Help your child learn from his experience

Express affection, rekindle your marriage!

By Mike Constantine, 07 Mar 2012

Sandra and Mark came to see us one evening because they were at an impasse in their marriage. Oddly, Mark is a professional psychologist, but in this case, the doctor could not heal his own marriage.

Express affection, rekindle your marriage!

Take steps to get into your sweet spot

By Roger Farr, 01 Mar 2012

Every golf club has a “sweet spot” that produces the best shots, the greatest distance, and the truest flight trajectory. Golf club makers work hard to increase the size of the sweet spot and to instruct golfers how to...

Single parents, here's how you can be effective

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 29 Feb 2012

Parenting in itself is a difficult role, but single parents have an even more arduous task ahead of them. In addition to their own role, they need to fulfill the role of the absent parent.

Single parents, here's how you can be effective

Find your sweet spot in life

By Roger Farr, 27 Feb 2012

Every golf club, baseball bat, squash racquet, and hockey stick has a “sweet spot”. This is the small area on the club, bat, racquet, or stick that, when hit by a ball, produces the best shots, the greatest distance,...

Your wife's secret need

By Mike Constantine, 22 Feb 2012

Sarah came to us recently with a very old story. Her husband had cheated on her, and not just once. Sarah felt hurt, betrayed, angry, and worthless. She also felt dishonoured.

Build a habit of reading more

By Roger Farr, 20 Feb 2012

I never seem to have enough time for reading, but I make the time, simply because I know how important reading is to me and to the people I lead.

Tips on raising the adopted child

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 13 Feb 2012

Parents of adopted children face difficulties unique to their circumstances. If the child was adopted as an infant, the question that may loom at the back of his parents’ minds is, “When and how should we tell our child...

Believe in those who lack self-confidence

By Roger Farr, 09 Feb 2012

Recently, I had the joy of watching Sue believe in a young lady before she could believe in herself. Let me tell you what I mean and how we have come to this happy point, many times!

Believe in those who lack self-confidence

Taking charge of change

By Mike Constantine, 07 Feb 2012

After 34 years of marriage, Diane and I were right in the middle of one of the biggest changes in our lives. Unexpected? No! Challenging? Yes. All changes are! This one involved selling the house we had lived in...

Help your child think better

By Roger Farr, 01 Feb 2012

As a young boy, I was always fascinated by great thinkers. I remember reading about the Greek philosophers and Albert Einstein, and other ancient and modern thinkers. I was amazed at what they thought and how they did things.

Dealing with disrespectful behaviour

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 31 Jan 2012

Showing respect towards elders is a valued virtue in our society. This can be expressed in the way we address them. From toddlerhood, or as soon as a child learns how to speak, we are careful in teaching them...

Learning from cleaning up your mess

By Roger Farr, 25 Jan 2012

As a corporate leader, I had to be ready to represent my company to the public, at a moment's notice, with confidence, integrity and poise. I attended many media training events and experienced mock press conferences amongst an angry...

The value of hard work

By Roger Farr, 17 Jan 2012

"You know Dad, you can tell a lot about a person by how hard they work and how they handle difficult menial tasks." This statement came from my daughter, Katie, as we were working on the landscaping around our...

When kids drive you crazy

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 16 Jan 2012

It will come as no surprise to parents, I’m sure, that children can be quite gifted at power games. These contests begin in earnest when children are between 12 and 15 months of age. Some get started even...

The difference 10 pounds makes

By Roger Farr, 10 Jan 2012

This week, we have had the pleasure of having our son, Brian, as well as our other two children, Peter and Katie, at home with us. We always learn from our children and expand our understanding of their world,...

Finding your partner's true value

By Mike Constantine, 06 Jan 2012

Sam has a wife with a smile that lights up the darkest room. That smile rises, like the sun, on a face as smooth as warm chocolate, accented by sparkling eyes. Hair like spun black silk crowns her well-shaped...

Orphans, pruning and necessary endings

By Sue Farr, 04 Jan 2012

My family likes to take in one type of “orphans”. We rescue them from some pretty harsh environments, and we give them a good home. We provide beds for them, water them twice a week, and feed them once...

How and when to spank

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 30 Dec 2011

In an earlier article, we wrote about the usefulness of corporal punishment as a form of discipline. The question that follows is how and when spanking should be carried out.

The homegoing of a friend

By Roger Farr, 28 Dec 2011

Sue and I were at a conference recently, where our mentor and friend suddenly dropped dead at the hotel hallway, while waiting for the elevator.

How well do you know your spouse?

By Mike Constantine, 20 Dec 2011

In marriage, understanding is not optional; it is essential. It is actually an expression of love, for the true lover always looks for ways to create strong, enduring bonds.

A memorable Christmas in Singapore

By Roger Farr, 20 Dec 2011

My family lived for three years in Singapore, as the company I worked for had established a new factory in Jurong, as well as sales forces in the major countries of Asia. We had the choice of living as...

The demands of motherhood

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 16 Dec 2011

‘Motherhood’ is a gift. It is a calling and a vocation from God. But, like all gifts, we have a choice of appreciating and accepting it along with the joys and responsibilities it brings, or considering it as an...

Feeling great at 55!

By Roger Farr, 13 Dec 2011

Just recently, I turned 55; however I don't feel old at all! What does that mean? Well, let me see if I can explain what I am feeling. Perhaps you feel this way too.

Mars and Venus - Really?

By Mike Constantine, 13 Dec 2011

I must confess. I have not read John Gray’s perennial best seller, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Perhaps I am treating Mr. Gray unfairly, but I am suspicious of any book that makes broad, general statements...

Making lasting memories together

By Roger and Sue Farr, 07 Dec 2011

In the 1980s, Shirley Dobson -- the wife of Dr. James Dobson of Focus on the Family -- wrote a book called Making Memories. The thesis of the book is that we can turn everyday events with our family...

Taking time out to be Dad

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 05 Dec 2011

Children spell L-O-V-E as T-I-M-E. Nothing communicates love like the time spent being and doing things with your children.

How to ease travel weariness

By Roger and Sue Farr, 30 Nov 2011

We like to travel. We love to visit with people. We enjoy a variety of foods. However, weeks of constant travel make even us, as eager road warriors, weary of travel.

Talking like the animals

By Mike Constantine, 29 Nov 2011

In an earlier article, I discussed the power of positive and negative words. Now let’s take another look at communication, this time with the help of some animals.

The teaching and learning of humility

By Roger and Sue Farr, 24 Nov 2011

Recently, our family has been reading the book Humilitas by John Dickson. It is a fascinating look at where the character quality of humility came from and how important it is in our everyday life.

To spank or not to spank

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 22 Nov 2011

“Spare the rod and spoil the child” used to be accepted as golden rule when training children, by parents and teachers of generations past. Not so nowadays.

Generosity is a heart attitude

By Roger and Sue Farr, 21 Nov 2011

Generosity, or giving to others of our time, talents, and treasure, is not one of those inborn character qualities. Rather, it is something we as parents teach our children, or in some sad cases, do not teach our children....

The power of spoken words

By Mike Constantine, 14 Nov 2011

How old were you when you learned how to talk? Very verbal children might say their first words at 10 months. By age two you probably had a vocabulary of 200 to 300 words and the ability to form...

Extrovert-introvert stress coping mechanisms

By Roger and Sue Farr, 13 Nov 2011

The last four weeks have been physically and emotionally exhausting, as good, worthwhile, and important events piled on top of each other. This was our month:

Extrovert-introvert stress coping mechanisms

Nature versus Nurture

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 10 Nov 2011

Educators, sociologist and psychologists have debated this topic on “Nature versus Nurture” for decades, with varying emphasis and results. Most parents today are convinced that if they provide as many opportunities as possible for their children, they would have...

Travel and be a world citizen

By Roger and Sue Farr, 04 Nov 2011

Our family loves the adventure of travelling and living in countries other than our home nation. However, not everyone does. Let us encourage you to take your children with you when you travel and to consider the adventure of...

The Passionate Marriage

By Mike Constantine, 31 Oct 2011

If passion was a colour, you might assume it is purple. Or maybe, hot red! Walk through any book store to locate the romance section and you’ll find yourself surrounded by shades of purple and red. Each cover advertises...

Out of My Comfort Zone!

By Roger and Sue Farr, 27 Oct 2011

My wife and I, each, regularly like to move outside our "comfort zones." Not everyone is like us. However, let me suggest that real growth only occurs when we humble ourselves and move to an area or experience where...

Disciplining defiant behaviour

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 25 Oct 2011

Parents often fail to understand just how important their actions and words are. They make an indelible impression on their children. Children are great mimics and this can be a negative or a positive factor, depending very much on...

Personal hedgehogs

By Roger and Sue Farr, 21 Oct 2011

Jim Collins, in his classic book, Good to Great, notes that one of the aspects of a great company or organisation is a proper understanding of their "hedgehog."

Forgiveness: What it is and what it isn't

By Mike Constantine, 17 Oct 2011

In my last article on forgiveness, I stressed that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. I hope you took that to heart and put it into practice. If you did you are probably seeing the results already.Now let’s...

Forgiveness: What it is and what it isn't

Embracing the riches of cultural diversities

By Roger and Sue Farr, 16 Oct 2011

Our family has been blessed to live in several different countries, each with its own culture and very different from our American upbringing. This learning to adapt to other cultures can either be a source of great stress and...

Embracing the riches of cultural diversities

How to negotiate the turbulence of adolescence

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 11 Oct 2011

Like all relationships, how we perceive ourselves as mothers or daughters is central to resolving the problems related to the relationship. In addition, any understanding of the purpose and role of women is also invaluable in a world that is...

How to negotiate the turbulence of adolescence

How we view our work affects how we work

By Roger and Sue Farr, 06 Oct 2011

A visitor to the city asked a workman, “What are you doing, sir?” “Oh, I’m just laying bricks,” the workman replied without even looking up. The visitor asked the same question of another man a few hundred metres away....

How we view our work affects how we work

Make the decision to forgive

By Mike Constantine, 03 Oct 2011

Let’s update an old nursery rhyme: Jack and Jill went up the hill, To fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown . . . And Jill never let him forget how clumsy he was!

Involve the family in a job change

By Roger and Sue Farr, 02 Oct 2011

Job changes are never easy. There are so many things to consider; however, the one factor often left out is how the entire family will feel about the change.

Let the kite go

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 27 Sep 2011

Mention the term “empty nest” and our mind immediately conjures up a picture of an empty house. Gone are the hustle and bustle of growing children, the noise and laughter, and all the activities related to parenting. There is...

Toastmaster’s tip to parenting

By Sue Farr, 23 Sep 2011

Everyone was on time, or even early for the meeting. Two studied their notes and closed their eyes in concentration. One met us at the door, offered her hand, and introduced herself. A man came over quickly and thanked...

Booby Traps and Blow-Ups

By Mike Constantine, 20 Sep 2011

It wasn’t a great day for the Kumars. Ninety-nine per cent of their days were really wonderful, but this wasn’t one of them. If a video of that day existed, they would want to buy and destroy all the...

Why Some Ladies’ Groups Don’t Work

By Sue Farr, 14 Sep 2011

I am not a big fan of ladies’ groups. It’s not that I don’t appreciate ladies; I know that I need the relational and encouraging interactions many ladies give. I benefit from the deeper emotional ties I have when it’s...

How to get the wind back in your sail

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 14 Sep 2011

The Chinese have a saying that given time, even the teeth would bite the tongue. It is an apt saying to remind us that even in marriage, which is the closest and most intimate relationship, there will be times when...

Picking up sticks and sorting bolts

By Roger and Sue Farr, 09 Sep 2011

Sometimes, we have to do very mundane tasks for the good of the team.

Letter to two lovers

By Mike Constantine, 05 Sep 2011

What a hopeful thing love is! A man and a woman decide they love each other so much that they want to get married. Each hopes the other will love him/her for life.

Active faith, honest truth

By Roger and Sue Farr, 01 Sep 2011

This week we are considering the final questions 9 and 10, dealing with our belief systems (faith) and integrity with our accountability partner.

Talk till your spouse "come home"

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 27 Aug 2011

For a relationship to grow and mature, effective communication between the husband and wife is vital.

Unresolved anger and ill-thoughts destroy

By Roger and Sue Farr, 27 Aug 2011

This week, we will deal with the topic of handling anger and our thoughts towards other people. These are important considerations in teaching children personal responsibility.

Unresolved anger and ill-thoughts destroy

Try a little tenderness

By Mike Constantine, 19 Aug 2011

In the comic strip, Animal Crackers, there was an elephant named Eugene who was not exactly in touch with the other animals. One installment showed Eugene actually standing on some poor helpless zebra. “What?” he responded, totally oblivious to...

Dealing with friends and addictions

By Roger Farr, 17 Aug 2011

This week we are dealing with our integrity and our relationships with other people. These are two aspects in our tool of 10 accountability questions that we are studying.

Shopping together, staying together

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 15 Aug 2011

A fridge, a washing machine… Have you and your spouse bought any such household item together lately? Believe it or not, a recent study on relationship commitment shows buying decisions like these can be a significant pointer to your...

Practise honour and honesty for a happier life

By Roger and Sue Farr, 11 Aug 2011

We are discussing a tool we have used to help our children learn personal responsibility and maintain that responsibility as they go to university and leave our home. This tool is simply a list of 10 accountability questions. By asking...

Practise honour and honesty for a happier life

The limitations of expectations

By Mike Constantine, 11 Aug 2011

Abby and Joe got married a year ago. Since both had passed the normal time when people marry, they were thrilled to find each other. They make a great couple. If you meet them, you will like them. Abby is...

Keeping check on thoughts and actions

By Roger and Sue Farr, 03 Aug 2011

I would like to discuss one tool we have used to help our children learn personal responsibility and to maintain that responsibility as they go to university and leave our home. This tool is simply a list of 10 accountability...

The priceless investment of time

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 02 Aug 2011

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word “consecrate” as “Devote as sacred” and rightly so. We need to devote sacred time for our family. Often times, due to our commitments, time spent with our family is compromised.

Be accountable to raise kids

By Roger and Sue Farr, 28 Jul 2011

Raising children and launching them to be successful adults is a great joy for any parent. However, this does not happen by itself! Raising children well takes great patience, wisdom, and tools on the part of both parents.

Get out of jail free

By Mike Constantine, 26 Jul 2011

Here's a question for you: do you ever connect two or more thoughts or events that are completely unrelated? When we do that we make false conclusions which frustrate us and the people around us. Andy had a rough day...

Great leaders help others succeed

By Roger and Sue Farr, 21 Jul 2011

Leadership, and life itself, is about people. More than having perfect children, wonderful exam results, lots of letters behind my name, double-digit investment returns, or a world-coveted art collection, I want to invest my life in people.

Reignite the fireworks in your marriage

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 18 Jul 2011

Romance is not just about feelings. Healthy romance is a balance of both feelings and thoughts. It is not adolescent infatuation, but a general feeling of comfort, pleasure and delight.

Effective leaders add value to others

By Roger and Sue Farr, 14 Jul 2011

Last time, we recognized that we have the opportunity, and the responsibility, to complete the Leadership Loop with each and every person we want to influence.

Affirmation builds up!

By Mike Constantine, 12 Jul 2011

“Let me affirm you, Mike. You are doing all the right things to help that man.” So said a professor of counselling at Wheaton College when I asked his advice about a tough counselling case.

Not alone

By Yvonne Lim, 10 Jul 2011

A young, unwed girl who has just found out she’s pregnant may feel that her world has crashed. If she has friends or family members to turn to, she’s on steady ground, but what if she doesn’t?

Six keys to lifelong love

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 05 Jul 2011

For anyone contemplating marriage, here are six straightforward recommendations that will increase the chance of living happily ever after.

From caring to succeeding -- the Leadership Loop

By Roger and Sue Farr, 01 Jul 2011

We interact with a growing number of "emerging leaders" on a conference call each week to discuss great books and big ideas. We are currently reviewing Dr John C. Maxwell's book, The 360 Degree Leader, in which he asserts...

From caring to succeeding -- the Leadership Loop

A bicycle-built-for-two

By Mike Constantine, 28 Jun 2011

"We had this bicycle," the lady said. "It was built for two people to ride together. What problems that bicycle caused us!"

Grandparents: A blessing to your children

By Wrutheran Sinnadurai, 21 Jun 2011

Only a generation ago the multi-generational family was a common phenomenon in Malaysian society. When I was in school in the 1960s I had so many classmates who had grandparents living in their homes. The multi-generational family was widely accepted...

Changing by Truth

By Roger and Sue Farr, 16 Jun 2011

We’ve been showing you how our family makes consistent, non-emotional, and God-honouring decisions by applying this process: Truth, principles, convictions, and decisions. We gave several examples of decisions we made that impacted our children and young adults.

ABC’s for a healthy marriage

By Mike Constantine, 14 Jun 2011

The human body needs basic nutrients to thrive and last. So does a marriage. With these qualities, marriages can thrive. Without them, they wither. So, let’s learn our ABC’s.

Wise decisions are made from principles

By Roger and Sue Farr, 10 Jun 2011

Roy Disney, brother of Disneyland creator Walt Disney, once said, “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” We might amend that to say, “It’s not hard to make wise decisions when you know...

Healthy discipline helps your child

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 07 Jun 2011

Wouldn’t it be great if children would just behave and grow up in the manner all good parents would desire them to? The process of helping our children work towards this desired end is not like drawing a straight...

Build convictions from Truth-based principles

By Roger and Sue Farr, 02 Jun 2011

It is really sad when family members each do their own things and home becomes no more than a nice hotel. It doesn’t have to be this way! You can make great decisions through strong personal convictions that are...

Build convictions from Truth-based principles

You need a thoughtful marriage

By Mike Constantine, 30 May 2011

Behold, the sunny days of courtship! The man calls or texts several times a day, everyday. He opens doors for her, tries to be on time, and takes the long way to take her home each night. In short,...

Live by the Book

By Roger and Sue Farr, 27 May 2011

All of us must make decisions in life. However, we believe that every man must have a basis for making these decisions. In this series of articles we will discuss how to make decisions and live life in the...

Say 'Yes' more to your child

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 20 May 2011

One of the first words in a child’s vocabulary is “NO”—usually accompanied by an emphatic shaking of the head. Where do children learn this? There’s a chance that they learned it from their parents.

Understanding the C Type

By Roger and Sue Farr, 19 May 2011

It was painting day at the Chans’ home. Mom (a.k.a. Jenny) assumed a general’s posture and started giving commands. “Jeremy, I’m glad you’re ready to work. Joshua, you take the ladder and start there. Jasmine, take this brush and...

You can build a durable marriage

By Mike Constantine, 16 May 2011

Have you ever put the words “durable” and “marriage” in the same sentence? Probably not. Durability is a word we use with mechanical things, like cars. They have to be durable to stand up to years of mechanical stress....

Understanding the steady S Type

By Roger and Sue Farr, 15 May 2011

“Dad, we need to make a decision today! The deadline is midnight, and we’ve waited long enough. Let’s decide! It can’t be that hard.” Jimmy pounded the table. “Come on, Dad! What are we going to do?” “Well, Jimmy,” said...

Entering the volatile world of teens

By Focus on the Family Malaysia, 10 May 2011

Teenagers today are exposed to a great deal of information. They seem to know a much more than teenagers of previous generations. Yet with all this information and knowledge at their disposal, they may still have difficulty articulating their...

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