Roger Farr

Roger and Sue Farr are leadership trainers and developers, writing on a subject close to their heart - leadership in the family.

Recently, I had the joy of watching Sue believe in a young lady before she could believe in herself. Let me tell you what I mean and how we have come to this happy point, many times!

While I was in university studying to become a chemical engineer, I came to realise that a professor believed in me. During my final year, I was considering stopping my Bachelor of Science (BS) and going to work with a major chemical company.

My professor encouraged me to go on to graduate school. I applied to several schools, including my professor's alma mater, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, which was the number one school in the world at that time, for chemical engineering.

He insisted that I apply to MIT, even though I did not believe I could even get in, let alone afford the US$25,000 per year tuition fee! I was afraid I could not compete with the "big boys" there at MIT.

My professor believed that I could, even when I did not!

To my surprise I was admitted to MIT with a full scholarship! My graduate school experience changed my life. Only now, 30+ years later, can I fully understand what that professor did for me by believing in me before I believed in myself.

Believing in someone is what we as parents do for our children. In our case, all of our children knew, at about age 15, what they were being called to do in life. The exact details were not worked out, but we knew the direction they were headed to.

Only one problem! As they began to look at what it would take to become an architect, a veterinarian, and a physical therapist, doubts began to creep in. "Can I do it? Am I smart enough? Can I handle the blood? Am I creative enough?"

This is where Sue and I came to the rescue! We had to help them take these very emotional questions and turn them into activities, to build their confidence and to show them (and us) that they really could accomplish their dreams. We designed many activities where they could test themselves and experience -- for a day or a week -- what they desired to become.

Presently, Sue and I work with many young people -- including our own children -- to help them develop their dreams, and then lay out a path to accomplish them. This is very challenging for us, yet at the same time, great fun to work with young people and their parents!

Recently, Sue had the opportunity to work with a young lady who had come from a difficult background. The young lady accomplished most things in her life that she had set her mind to, as a result of trying to prove other people wrong, when they said that she "could not do it!" She was just trying to show the world that they were wrong, and that she was valuable!

After working with Sue for several months, this young lady is now re-examining her worth as a person, her role as a young lady, and her calling in life. It has been great fun to watch, and humbling as well to see, the changes taking place in her life.

As parents, one of our great joys is to believe in our children and be the "vision keeper" for our children, especially as they reach their late teen years. Let me encourage you to take on this role with vigour!

You may be the only one who believes in your children and gives them the encouragement they need to achieve what is in their hearts. You will never regret the time and energy you spend in keeping their dreams alive, even in the face of difficulties!

Here's to believing in our children, and in others who cross our paths, so that they may reach their full potentials!

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