| Find contentment, simplify your life |
| By Wrutheran Sinnadurai | |
There is a general striving today, among people all over the world, for more, bigger, better and higher in their careers, possessions, wealth and social status. The underlying belief is that the more you have of these things, the more secure, contented and happier you will become. But, it is ironical that quite a few of the rich and famous who seem to have it all, are not only very discontented, but have also slid into personal ruin through substance abuse, debts, brushes with the law and other inappropriate behaviours. Riches do not necessarily bring contentment. In fact, quite often, riches breed greed and discontentment. Ironically, it is simplicity in daily life that promises contentment. Riches often lead to sophistication; and sophistication is about wearing “fronts” and “masks”, being guarded, pretentious and aloof, and wanting to show off. In contrast, simplicity enables a person to be practical, down to earth and open, as well as value relationships, conserve resources and care for the environment. Wealth in itself is not bad; it is a great enabler. It is a good servant, but a very bad master. It has a way of mesmerising a person and changing him for the worse. It gives a false sense of security and a feeling of invincibility, and can cause a person to get reckless and wanton in his ways. It is not difficult to illustrate this point. We only need to look at some of the outstanding personalities in every arena of life (politics, entertainment, sports, business, etc.) who have wrecked their lives soon after tasting fame and fortune. While wealth is not easy to come by for most people, contentment is within everybody’s reach. Contentment is an attitude toward our wealth and possessions, our careers, our families and loved ones, our relationships, the limited time we have -- i.e. toward life itself. When we simplify our lives and learn to enjoy the simple things in life, we begin to be contented. Duane Elgin expresses this truth well in his book, Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life that is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich (Morrow, New York, 1981, p.32). He says, “To live simply is to unburden ourselves -- to live more lightly, cleanly, aerodynamically... The objective is not to live with less, but is a more demanding intention of living with a balance, in order to find a life of greater purpose, fulfilment and satisfaction.” Elgin further explains, “The hallmark of a balanced simplicity is that our lives become clearer, more direct, less pretentious, and less complicated. We are then empowered by our material circumstances, rather than (being) enfeebled or distracted.” In effect, we are contented only when we are able to use our material resources to empower us, rather than to enfeeble us. In other words, we can be contented only when we are masters over our wealth and possessions, rather than be slaves to them. When we simplify our lives, contentment automatically follows. There are several guiding principles that can help us find contentment by simplifying our lives. Firstly, we need to be aware that consciously or unconsciously, we allow our values to be moulded by the world -- the media, advertisements, celebrities, and even our own friends and colleagues. We need to continually remind ourselves that we do not have to keep up with the Joneses or seek to impress others. Nor do we have to worry about portraying a status-reflecting image by wearing designer clothing, eating in fancy restaurants or driving big cars. We need to be able to assure ourselves of our self-worth and self-confidence without these external showpieces. The media continually extols celebrities, indirectly promoting them as life’s models. But they are not; most of them are poor role models. On the other hand, advertisements are constantly telling us that we are below par if we are not using their products. It is only when we are able to discern and reject these influences and take charge of our lives by making our own decisions that we become comfortable with the image we project. Secondly, we must establish a standard of living that is within our means. This must be done out of conviction; if we feel forced by circumstances to live simply, we can become resentful and bitter. We must then abide by the standard we set, without apologising for it or being ashamed of it. We need not try to impress others; they have their own “battles” to fight. Trying to live beyond our means is courting disaster for certain, both financial and emotional. However, this does not mean that we cannot seek to better our living standards. When our financial resources increase, our living standards can improve. Thirdly, we need to cultivate a thankful attitude. We need to be thankful for what we have. Many people are discontented, not because they are not doing well, but because others are doing better. They are envious, often without realising it. Thankfulness is an attitude and a state of mind, not dependent on our material assets. It is appreciating who we are and what we have, rather than lamenting over what we lack or do not have. Fourthly, we must cultivate the habit of saving. The current financial meltdown that has hit many European countries reveals failure to save, on the part of individual citizens, as well as the nation, as a whole. When times are good, they spend freely without thinking of rainy days ahead. When times are bad, they run into debts. In every financial institution or system, interest rates on debts are much higher than the rates on savings. It is prudent, therefore, to avoid debts and to build up your savings. As a rule of thumb, save at least 10% of your gross earnings. Building your “nest egg” from day one of your career life is one of the wisest things you could do in your lifetime. Fifthly, we must be cautious not to buy things that we cannot afford. We have to be realistic; there are many things out there that we may never be able to buy! We must also be cautious not to buy on impulse, especially expensive items. It is advisable to take time (a week or even a month) to deliberate first, if the item is a need or a want. However, we can allow ourselves an occasional treat. Sixthly, we need to be wise in using the credit card. The convenience it provides must not be abused; it is easy to accumulate unnecessary debts with it. The new generation appears to be debt-savvy -- flashing credit cards at every turn and consuming at will. What many of them do not appear to understand is that the interest on credit card debts in Malaysia compounds to almost 20% per annum, while interest rates on savings in the bank hover around one to three percent only. Your debts grow far more rapidly than your savings in the bank! It is prudent, therefore, to pay off all credit card debts immediately. Seventhly, we must establish a habit of giving. This is another irony of life. As Saint Francis of Assisi of the 13th century asserts in his famous prayer, “It is in giving, that we receive.” When we give to the less fortunate in the form of money, time or service, we feel good. We seem to be created that way. Interestingly, research seems to confirm this truth. Based on many years of research, Jill Niemark, in her book, Why Good Things Happen to Good People (Random House, New York, 2007) claims, “When we give of ourselves, especially if we start young, everything from life satisfaction to self-realisation and physical health is significantly affected. Mortality is delayed. Depression is reduced. Well-being and good fortune are increased.” Niemark further stresses that people of all ages who help others on a regular basis, even in small ways, feel happiest. A Dutch proverb also captures this age-old truth, as follows: The generous man enriches himself by giving; the miser hoards himself poor. Contentment also leads to happiness. An article by Mayo Clinic, titled, How to be happy: What science tells us (http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/how-to-be-happy/MY01357) claims, “Only 10 percent or so of the variation in people's reports of happiness can be explained by differences in their circumstances. The bulk of what determines happiness is your personality and -- more modifiable -- your thoughts and behaviours.” The article also asserts that happiness is the sum of your life choices, of which “devoting time to family and friends” and “appreciating what we have” are key features. It is not easy to develop a mindset that is for simplicity, because all around us, too much value is placed on the “externals”. Therefore, it takes much reflection, quite a lot of effort and a deep conviction, to apply the principles of simplicity in our daily lives. But those who deliberately seek to simplify their lives are generally contented people, and in turn, they are the happier ones. (Wrutheran Sinnadurai is a retired teacher who is deeply concerned over the current state of family and social relations. He is the author of the book, "Families Matter: Concepts And Principles For Enriching Your Family".) Comments (0)
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